Adulthood: Why is it not fashionable today to be an adult?
What is infantilism?
Infantilism is a discrepancy between a person’s biological age and his psychological maturity. An infantile person is afraid to make independent decisions, he needs care from others, tends to unlimited egoistic manifestations.
Female and male infantilism is different. The man-child runs from responsibility. He does not want children, is afraid of a serious relationship, often continues to live with his mother. He is passionate about teenage games, avoids serious assignments at work and is very afraid of disapproval.His life is built on children's ideas, where he receives either praise or punishment.
Female infantilism is manifested in the "disease of the princess." Such girls are looking for a prince from a fairy tale who could provide their lives by creating comfortable living conditions. This image is strongly promoted in fashion magazines, public, television programs, TV shows and movies.
Where does infantility come from?
- Improper upbringing
Prerequisites for infantile behavior are formed in a child aged 10-12 years. The roots of this disease may lie deeper. The desire of parents to protect children from problems leads to the lack of independence of the child. When the child is 5, they tie the laces and fasten the jacket, because it is faster and easier, no need to wait until the slow and awkward child deal with ties and lightning on the clothes. At the age of 7, mother decides to solve math problems for a bad son. At 12 she houses dishes for irresponsible children, and at 14 she solves problems with teachers. And this is not enough! At the age of 17, my son goes to study to be an engineer, because loving parents decided so. What kind of adulthood is it? It remains only for the bride to choose, so that from one caring hand the responsibility for the already adult boy will be passed on to others.
- Early abandonment of childhood
- The fate of the prodigy
This is the second extreme of education. Parents with best intentions from an early age load a child with a bunch of tasks: he already reads in kindergarten, writes, considers, studies a foreign language, and also sings and dances. What should be the schedule of the baby to have it all in time? For the healthy development of the psyche, the child needs games and communication with peers who are deprived of it. In the form of a game, future behaviors and ideas about social roles are laid.
In school, the little prodigy is again not about toys. Lessons, clubs, sections - where is it with the guys to drive the ball in the yard? In adulthood, a young man goes with a library of theoretical knowledge in his head, but a complete lack of practical skills. He does not know how to communicate and interact with people around him, cannot accept the cruel laws of the world, does not know how to adapt to changing conditions. He is lost. Often, such a child has a complex of excellent students, which prevents them from joining the team and prevents them from being guided in reality.
- Non-child responsibility
The role of an adult is assumed by children with excessive demands on themselves.In difficult conditions of life, this solution is the only way out. If there is no one in the house to take care of the child, he does it himself. This phenomenon is observed in difficult families, where children are left to themselves, and sometimes they are responsible for younger sisters and brothers. They solve everyday issues, they themselves comprehend "worldly wisdom". But this behavior cannot be called an adult, because psychologically the child is not yet mature and does not perceive reality consciously enough. Maximalist views he carries into adulthood.
- The way to stand out
Some children occupy an “adult” position as the only way of self-realization in the children's team. They seem to rise above all others. Suppressing the qualities inherent in adolescents in the period of maturation, they are faced with their stormy manifestations in the already adult age. Children's behavior is justified by the pursuit of missed opportunities.
- Later, social maturation
The youth of post-industrial society has long depended on the older generation. School years are replaced by the institute, and the parents still have a child.
Living under the supervision of fathers and mothers, young people do not feel the full responsibility of adult life: there is a roof over their heads, food too, and most importantly, no effort is needed for that. You can continue to enjoy a carefree life.
What is adulthood?
To answer the question why today adulthood is not in fashion, you need to understand what adult behavior is. Adult Criteria:
It manifests itself in the ability to control their needs. Desires play an important role in people's lives, but adulthood begins from the moment when a person understands which of his aspirations, needs and desires are relevant, and which are not. Reasonableness is the ability to manage emotions and feelings, as well as the ability to adapt to changing conditions.
Next to the concept of "reasonableness" is the definition of "maturity." It is not constant and depends on the ability of the individual to correspond to the living conditions in which he is. If in 25 people has reached maturity, this does not mean that at 35 he will not part with her.
The ability to fight helplessness determines the level of adulthood. In life there are many difficulties and difficult tasks that need to be solved, not relying on outside help.
- A responsibility
Shifting responsibility on other people's shoulders or the will of events speaks of the psychological immaturity of a person.
- Awareness of the social role
Understanding one’s place and meaning in social life is an integral part of growing up. Over the years, the position in society is changing, the roles and requirements are becoming more complex. The fact that society forgives an immature teenager, for an adult, is accompanied by disapproval from others. How does an infantile person raise a child? What will he teach him? Adaptation of the future generation in the adult world depends on education. But if the parent himself does not understand his role in the fate of the offspring, the picture is sad.
Adult behavior is hard work, but it opens up new opportunities.
An infantile person will never move to a new level, will not know family happiness, true love.
He will remain within the framework of children's perception, without knowing what responsibility is and what its fruits are.
Why is it not fashionable to grow up?
The fashion for infantilism was born from the inability to live in an adult. The society of the 21st century loyal to any manifestations of "unusual", they also include the children's behavior of an adult individual.But one thing is when infantilism is openly manifested in childishness, and another when it becomes a problem in life.
Today, later they get married and have children. Frequent excuses "did not walk up." Psychologically, a new generation is not ready to accept reality and grow up in 18-20 years. Former schoolchildren are still children, they have not played enough. In many ways, upbringing is to blame. Fashionable today, the early development of children takes away the happy years of the game. They also take social networks and the Internet. Modern boys and girls are far from reality, they need time to adapt. And when does it start? From the moment of independent living and the ability to take care of one’s own well-being.
As an adult, a person takes responsibility for his own actions. But it is hard work: to follow the behavior, to be responsible for actions and words, to adhere to social status and position. Adulthood dictates new roles, far more complex than they were before. In childhood, unfulfilled lessons threatened with disapproval from the teacher or parents, poor grades, and perhaps a little punishment. In life, penalties are more serious. There's nobody to blame.A person, making a mistake, faces the consequences straightforwardly. They affect his life, give birth to difficult situations that the infantile individual cannot solve. The modern school system educates children in such a way that they are afraid of mistakes. This desire for "correctness" prevents adaptation in real life. Adulthood is an understanding of a causal relationship, not a calculation of a nonexistent assessment. But it is difficult for a person to adapt to a new system of perception, it is easier to remain in the world of infantile carelessness.
The fashion for children's behavior is an excuse for a sad reality where men and women do not know how to be adults. And this problem is much more global than it seems at first glance.
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