Answered 23 march 2015 00:14
Good evening, Anya. Let's try in order to understand what happened and what to do next. I understand that the conversation was a little more than just a friend or a friend? And before that you have not seen this person at all, or have you seen very little? It turned out like this: 1. The communication that you both liked began. After the meeting, he apparently (I guess) decided to check whether you could be trusted and expect something more from you in the long term, perhaps a relationship. Any such person needs insurance, an understanding that he is not mistaken in his choice. He also understands that you can hide the bad about yourself in order to please him, and this possible assumption does not mean that he is right. Nevertheless, he decided to test you through some person whom he somehow found and found suitable for this. And by the way, do you know who he is and where did he come from? How is he related to you? You see, many people also have a not very good habit of believing all 100% unfamiliar people, which, apparently, turned out to be that person.Perhaps he once sympathized with you, and you rejected him, perhaps he didn’t like you or he envied you, or maybe just because of the harmfulness of character or any rumors after listening to him and he began to say that about you. But you never know the reasons can be! You know what kind of people cockroaches sometimes sit in their heads ... As a result, he believed someone whom he considered a reliable source, without even asking someone else, without speaking to you. Another bad habit is to listen to one, to believe and justify your conclusion on this. 2. Separately, it is necessary to talk about communication on the Internet. This is, of course, wonderful; new technologies can be communicated in any way, without going outside in the cold or being far from each other, but not very well when such communication becomes basic between people, if there is no objective explanation for this. Especially when you were not familiar before in reality or were unfamiliar. There are virtual friends, there are even virtual lovers, but this is from another opera. If you want full-fledged relationships, you need to communicate more in reality. Internet communication in this case leaves a shade of fluctuation, uncertainty, unreliability.Any action or the wrong word can make a big difference, any little thing can ruin everything. This fragility had an effect on him, it became unclear to him what to do next, and he decided to look for information on the side. What he came to - you already know. 3. The total of all. See on sensations. If you have become attached to the person, try to bring him to a conversation, to convince and prove that you are not like that. Now he is locked in and does not know at all who to believe. Try it, suddenly it will work out. But look at this situation from the other side too. You communicated with the person well enough, but he believed one stranger who said nasty things about you. At the same time, he refuses to listen to you - a person with whom he already had good communication. It is also possible that during a personal meeting you seemed to him a little frivolous or, for example, overly sexual, and he also had doubts about your integrity. In any case, he believed someone "left", but not you. Does this behavior hurt you? I think this is at least unfair. And why do you need someone who believes anyone, but not you? Flag in his hands, let him go and believe on. I would give you a second chance, give you the right to speak. Do this: several times (literally 2-3) try to bring him to a pure conversation, but not too forcefully. If you continue to ignore and go into denial, then you should not, leave it alone.
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