Gabor Maté - The Psychology of Spiritual Seeking
Spiritual Inspiration Visits a Life with Chronic Pain
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When I started to write this blog more than three years ago, I decided it would be best to avoid the old points of conflict in our society; religion and politics. It was not that I do not have political opinions, because as it has been revealed on occasion, my opinions on politics in this country seep out in my writing. I was brought up to be religious but no longer believe myself to be formally religious. My problems with sitting have kept me from being a churchgoer for several years now but I have always been very spiritual; now more than ever before in my life. Even as a child I felt the love of a power greater than myself, have always prayed and attempted to live my life according to a code of behavior based on my spiritual beliefs. I believe spirituality to be a very personal segment of life. As far as I’m concerned your relationship with the mystical side of life is your business, not mine. Good or evil, that’s up to you and will either bless you or come back to bite you in the arse. I know that’s pretty blunt but that does put it succinctly.
Something very remarkable happened to us this week which I want to share with you because all of our lives have given me the privilege of intermingling with you in both our good times and bad. This is a blessing of such mysterious and mystical proportions; it needs to be shared with all of you.
As most of you know, my husband’s dear Mom, Lolly, has been very ill from suffering a fractured hip, followed shortly by another surgery for a bowel obstruction and now pneumonia. She is elderly and although never frail, has begun to show her age and the wear and tear of life. Wouldn’t any of us? It is all the more painful and worrisome for us because she is 1500 miles away in Hesperia, CA and Jim is her only remaining child. Lolly has an elderly brother who lives near her in Hesperia and this has been very hard on him, also.
(As an aside I need to tell you that my high school graduating class just had a reunion last weekend and being a very active class, there has been a Site on the internet for at least a couple of years on which many people from two classes have listed comments, email addresses, etc. I have not attended any of my reunions over the years because I have usually lived far away from my home town of Pomona, CA and have for the last 20+ years had serious health impediments to travel).
I know many of you have been praying for Lolly and for my husband as he struggles with his worries, the distance and trying to do his duty to his dear Mom. Since I can’t be the ideal daughter because of my own health problems, this has also weighed heavily on me. Well, my friends, God and the spiritual forces of life have intervened. A few days ago I received an email from a high school friend. She is someone who is vague in my memory because it’s been several decades since I have seen her. My memories of her are good ones and I remember her as a sweet, kind person. She asked, initially if I was the Sue Falkner who graduated from our high school. I answered that I was. She wrote back her memories of visiting our home for church gatherings and even remembered my Mom’s antique spinning wheel which sat in a corner of our living room. Via another email she told me she was a retired RN. I told her I was, also. Then we started to ask each other the particulars of our lives and the places we have each lived. Interwoven into all of our communications, Jim and I were on the phone daily to check on his Mom and each day there was a new problem.
When I asked this classmate where she lived and she asked me, her reply was “I live in Hesperia, CA.” Imagine my amazement in the timing after so many years and at this particular time in our lives. I told her my mother-in-law lives there and mentioned she was going through a rough time. My friend returned with an offer to go see Lolly. I replied with thanks but told her Lolly was so disoriented I thought it would have to wait for now. As Lolly met new challenges and things got worse with her, they called from the hospital about her going home. We knew she couldn’t possibly manage that and talked with the officials down there about sending her back to the rehab facility she had been in just a couple of weeks ago after her hip surgery. Jim had been impressed with the quality of their care but we knew she wouldn’t be able to stay there very long.
I asked my re-found friend what kind of nursing she had done and she asked me. She replied she had worked in geriatrics. During this busy week, Jim’s concerns were first of all for Lolly and secondly the challenge of finding a safe place for her and doing all of the manipulating of the process in an area strange to us. When I told this particular friend about our concerns and about the possibilities of Lolly returning to this particular rehab hospital, she replied, she had helped to open that hospital and had been their first Director of Nursing. She had even worked for the health provider Lolly uses and knows the doctors and the ins and outs of their system. She renewed her offer of assistance to us and to Lolly.
I was both blessed and humbled. I called Jim and told him, “I think we have just had a miraculous event.” I explained it all to him and he quietly replied, my usually pessimistic husband, “I think you’re right.”
Now, as Jim flies back down to oversee his Mom’s care, we have been given an angel to assist us in a strange town, at least strange to us who are used to being on the “in” within the medical community. I’m re-convinced that the powers of love and life in this world care about Lolly, and also about us. So many of you have been in this with us; I needed to share this with you. Out of the hundreds of people I graduated with from high school, why did I hear from this particular kindly retired nurse? Was it just a co-incidence? I don’t think so. It’s my belief that He who watches a single sparrow fall has shown His love for us, once again.
Video: ★ How to Live Well w/ Chronic Pain & Illness | Toni Bernhard | Buddhist Inspired
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