Complex of the eternal housewife in strong women
Each of us has such a girlfriend: at work - flint and tank, knows how to achieve her most sophisticated and even sometimes bloodthirsty ways, among friends she is a bold and easy-going character and even recognizes herself as a feminist when she comments on posts on Facebook. But one has only to look at her for lunch sometime on Sunday (the hipsters still call it brunch), as a sweet sweet dog appears in the doorway, which almost brings slippers to her husband. Why are strong, independent and strict women with their men build themselves into the meek and obedient housewives, like advertising household appliances from the 50s?
Recall here the story of Lyudmila Petrovna from “Office Romance”: in the first part of the picture she is all such an “iron lady”, the office thunderstorm, which people are rather afraid of, and how it comes to a parade in boots, and then to a romantic relationship, then her inner core as if melting in front of her and she shows herself vulnerable, seeking protection and even frankly unhappy in the depths of her soul a woman.
No, someone at this moment will surely say that it is because all living creatures, including women, need love and care, as well as a reliable life partner near by, but why such a sudden transformation, such a sharp a change of roles, such an unexpected subservience to another person who did not arise earlier in relations with friends / colleagues? It turns out that she was simply hiding behind her success, pretending to be the mistress of the seas and oceans (and also tenders and barters) in her free time, but here the man’s bell sounded and it was time to housewives right away?
And this can be explained as follows. There is one harmful stereotype in our society: a man in a relationship cannot be happy with a more successful (and, God forbid, more richer) companion. His self-esteem will be understated, broken, and the heroic power compared to the ground and suppressed. What is left for a woman to do in such a situation if a man suffers and feels uncomfortable next to his own Hillary Clinton?
Here are women, so that they, men, should not be upset, and they are trying to weaken themselves — to keep silent about raising them,give her husband the right to drive a family car, compliment him on how great he is (even if he owns his own computer, or two or three subordinates), patiently listen to him about the economic crisis and how his talents are not disclosed anywhere , and to entice girlfriends, that in fact it is you in the family “weak link” that is cared for, cherished and worn.
And the men, in return, instead of appreciating such “diplomacy” to themselves in damage, are beginning to be jealous of work, as if this is some kind of pumped up handsome man who holds you in his arms until midnight and takes all your thoughts on weekends. They blame women for ten hours a day that they are not very affectionate, not very well-groomed, and do not pay them enough attention.
And women apologize and try to really be married: to ask for leave, or, early, to cook soup or donate a meeting with girlfriends at all to listen to the latest news. They are even a little embarrassed, awkwardly somehow, that the cards in the Universe are so formed that she has a full bowl, and his cup is half empty and everything is lonely.They are so embarrassed in their success, as if this expensive dress is not the size: shakes, does not allow to breathe, selects the man of the beloved. Recall only how many Hollywood films there are about a cold careerist who was melted by a sugary and almost unemployed charm (usually, according to the scenarios, they have creative professions: clowns, photographers, actors).
And how long? How long will women take on men's complexes, which originate from their own failure of the stronger sex, and try to treat them with affection and care? Some people even refuse to believe that all these quibbles on the topic “you are not so,” “as a man,” “you are too ambitious,” “you are not womanly” not from great love, but from a great desire at least at a small household level then humiliate.
Such men are little tyrants who cannot stand that their women are taller than them. And they are trying to act in other ways - to develop feelings of guilt in women, to pretend to be abandoned, to demand children or more sex, and sometimes even to change, explaining that “their wife did not satisfy them”.
It’s time for women to learn how to open such Napoleonic schemes for one-two-three,put the failed macho in place (and it is better to leave where he was) and fully enjoy his successful life, which doesn’t let these notorious whiners-dictators sleep.
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