Why do we condemn other people?
Do you often judge other people? Surely many of us have done this at least once, while others do condemnations almost constantly. But why is this happening? And how to overcome this habit?
What is a conviction?
Condemnation is not a negative assessment, as many believe. Often condemnation is carried out subjectively, that is, without an analysis of the situation, because of which a person has caused disapproval. His actions, traits or behavior are regarded in a negative way, they cause censure, misunderstanding, and sometimes disgust. But such judgments are not always justified.
Reasons for conviction
So why do we condemn other people? The reasons for this behavior may be different, and here are some of them:
- Increase your own assessment, the so-called decompensation. Far few manage to live and behave correctly and according to the laws of morality, and each of us has the right to make a mistake. But in order not to blame and not consider themselves to be bad, proving to themselves that everything is not so bad, many begin to evaluate the actions of others and, of course, find flaws in them.And condemnation is becoming a way to convince oneself that there are worse people.
- Stereotypical thinking. What was previously considered unacceptable and immoral, gradually becomes normal and mundane. Unfortunately, this is life. But not all changes are so disastrous for society, as many believe. For example, if before a man was considered to be the main person in the family, today a woman has the same rights, and sometimes performs the same functions, such as maintaining a family, driving a car, and running a business. But it often causes condemnation, and not only the self-sufficient woman, but also her spouse. He is considered "mummy" and "henpecked", and her - too self-confident or unfeminine.
- Inability to objectively assess the situation. Many are beginning to condemn others, not even having penetrated into the situation, because of what the opinion is erroneous.
- Banal envy. Yes, and she, too, can push on the conviction. So, if you envy a neighbor who has an expensive car, you will certainly look for reasons to belittle him in your own eyes. And you will find many reasons to do this, and the most different: from the wrong (probably only in your opinion) parking to overweight or greed.Such a reason, by the way, is especially common among women, and for them often appearance is the subject of both envy and condemnation.
- Manipulation method. If we reproach a person for something or blame him, then, in this way, we develop a feeling of guilt in him, and his psychologists are often compared to fear in their degree of influence on the psyche. The convicted person starts to consider himself guilty, worthless, sinful or incomplete and therefore easily gives in to any influence, because he can begin to think that he cannot do something on his own and without someone else's advice. In addition, he is ready for anything to prove to others (especially to those who criticize him) and to himself that he is worth something and in fact is not as bad as people think of him.
- Rejection of their own shortcomings or deeds. Often we refuse to see and accept our "sins." And in order to make sure that they are insignificant, we begin to “dig” in the lives of others and, of course, we find in it a lot of bad and reprehensible. And this makes it easier for us.
- Boredom. Often, someone starts to condemn someone in the process of conversation.This is most often due to the lack of other topics for conversation. When all the news is analyzed and narrated, there is nothing left but to go to the “bone-washing”. And this is typical of many, especially women.
How to stop condemning?
How to get rid of such a bad habit?
- Understand that no one is perfect, everything is very different, and everyone has the right to make mistakes. After all, mistakes are an invaluable experience. And risks or rash acts sometimes lead to achievements. Just understand it and accept this thought, let it become one of the life principles for you.
- Learn to analyze the situation. Before you criticize and condemn a person, try to understand why he acted or behaved that way. Probably, he simply had no other way out, or he tried to save someone. Always try to put yourself in the place of another and then, probably, you will evaluate his life differently.
- Try to free your thinking from stereotypes. And it is not easy if you live in your own world and do not contact with others, you do not know what is happening in the world. And in order to understand that everything is changing (and sometimes radically), communicate more, learn something new, travel, develop. Then you will begin to look at life and people differently.
- Try to make sure that you have no time left for the conviction. If you live a full, bright and interesting life, then you simply will not care about the actions and behavior of others. Yes, and topics for talking with friends and relatives will always be there.
- Increase your own self-esteem. Sometimes this is not so easy, but still possible. For this, improve, develop, do as many good things as possible, help people.
- Learn not to condemn, but to offer help. Probably, the person who deserved your conviction stumbled or committed stupidity, after which he himself regretted it and did not know how to change the situation. Your help will probably be useful and will help to make things better or correct mistakes.
- Before you give someone a negative assessment, analyze your own behavior, and also consider how you would act in such a situation. Perhaps you are no better than the one you are going to condemn, and this should stop you.
- Remember that you too can be condemned, moreover, behind your back and using unflattering statements.
- Learn how to live your life and not intervene in someone else's, after all, what happens to others often does not concern you.
Be kinder and polite and refrain from condemnation!
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